Writing your wedding vows can be a daunting, yet special and meaningful task. It’s important to find a tone that best suits you as a couple, whether humorous or sentimental, while keeping them meaningful and special.
Share personal stories about your relationship to add a unique touch. But make sure to omit anything too embarrassing, as guests don’t want to feel uncomfortable.
Have an Idea of What the Other Person Wants
Writing wedding vows is an incredibly intimate and personal thing. You’ll be baring your heart to your future spouse in front of family and friends, so you want to make sure that you take the time to get it right. That means that you should start early.
The first step is to get some inspiration. You can do this by reading wedding vow samples or watching YouTube videos of couples saying their vows to one another. This will give you a good idea of what to aim for and how to structure your own.
Once you’ve got some ideas, start jotting down all of your thoughts about your future spouse and what you are looking forward to most in your marriage together. Then, start turning those notes into vows and revisiting them to make sure that you’re happy with what you’ve come up with. If you can, ask a trusted friend or family member for feedback on your work. They can help you make any necessary changes that will improve the clarity and strength of your speech.
Vows can be structured in a number of ways, but many couples like to use a chronological format to talk about their relationship and what they are looking forward to together. This can include things like the first time you met, your first kiss, and all of the little things that made your connection strong from the start. You can also add in anecdotes about the things you love about your future spouse, like the things that they do for you or the traits that first attracted you to them.
You can also draw on other sources of inspiration, such as a favorite poem, song, or romantic movie. Just be careful not to let them take over the meaning and content of your vows. If you decide to go this route, it’s also a good idea to practice reading them out loud so that you can make sure that they sound natural and not rehearsed or staged. This will also help you get a feel for how long your vows should be and if there are any words that might be difficult to pronounce or say out loud.
Start Early
While writing your wedding vows may feel like a last-minute task, it’s important to give yourself plenty of time to write. A few weeks or even months in advance of your ceremony is ideal for this. This gives you ample time to jot down ideas, turn those notes into full-fledged vows and review them. Ideally, you should also practice reading them out loud so that you can hear any awkward combinations of words or spots where the grammar could use a little work.
It’s also helpful to talk to your partner about how you’d like to word your vows. “Some couples want to keep their vows lighthearted, while others may prefer a more serious tone,” says Dent. Having these discussions early on can help you agree on the direction your vows will take and ensure they’re consistent throughout.
When it comes to choosing which stories or anecdotes you’ll include in your vows, it’s a good idea to focus on ones that show how deep and mutually devoted your relationship is. You can use these moments to illustrate your values, the way you communicate with one another and even your hopes and dreams for the future. It’s best to avoid inside jokes and highly personal anecdotes, though; your friends and family are attending your ceremony to witness your bond, not your private musings on your long-term love story.
Besides having conversations about what you’d like to see in your vows, it’s incredibly beneficial to look at examples from other couples (and yes, that means you can steal ideas). It can be hard to get a sense of how your own vows will sound without having an example to compare them to. You can find sample vows online, through books or movies and even ask your friends to recite their own for inspiration.
Lastly, don’t worry about whether your vows will sound authentic enough. Everyone communicates differently, and your unique voice will shine through. But remember that your vows should still be understandable to those who aren’t intimately familiar with your relationship. So leave the inside jokes, cryptic code words and deeply personal anecdotes for your private wedding card.
Keep It Short
The goal of writing your wedding vows is to express the feelings you have for your partner in a way that feels personal and authentic. You don’t need to retell your entire love story or share every detail of your relationship. However, you should try to keep your vows relatively short and sweet. This will allow you to cover the most important points of your love story without overly stretching out your speech or bogging down your audience.
One to three minutes is usually the best time frame for wedding vows, but this isn’t a hard and fast rule. If you’re having trouble keeping your vows within this timeframe, consider skimming photos from the early days of your relationship for inspiration. These memories tend to spark emotional responses and can help you come up with ideas for what to include in your vows.
If you want to make your vows more interesting, try rewriting them in different styles. For example, you could write your vows in poetic and romantic language one day and then lace them with some lighthearted humor the next. This will make the writing process feel less like a chore and give you two a chance to decide which style of vows sounds best for you.
While you may think it’s tempting to tell an embarrassing anecdote in your vows, you should remember that your family and friends will be present for this moment as well. You don’t want to embarrass your loved ones by sharing too many third-tier inside jokes or making not-so-subtle references to your bangin’ sex life.
It’s also helpful to look at other couples’ vows for inspiration. Not only can this help you figure out what kind of tone you want to set, but it can also show you how a professional speaker can convey their feelings in a way that feels natural and sincere. You can even watch their videos online to hear what they sound like spoken aloud, which can be an invaluable tool for writing your own vows.
Keep It Personal
When it comes to your wedding vows, it’s important to keep them personal. You and your partner should talk about the highs and lows of your relationship, as well as special moments that have touched your heart. This can make your vows more unique and personal, as well as add a bit of humor to your speech.
When you’re brainstorming for your vows, look through old photographs or special keepsakes to inspire you. You might also want to look through your favorite songs, movies or books for inspiration. These sources can help you remember the good times in your marriage and find ways to share them with your new spouse.
It’s okay to use some religious wedding vows or traditional promises in your vows, but you should also write your own vows. This way, you can be sure that they’re truly yours and that they represent who you are as a couple. Your unique wedding vows can include romantic and funny elements, as long as you make some serious commitments.
If you’re struggling with how to write your wedding vows, try looking for examples online or ask your friends and family for suggestions. It’s also a good idea to practice in front of a mirror or a trusted friend. This way, you can see how they sound out loud and get a feel for how they’ll sound when you deliver them on your big day.
When writing your vows, be careful not to overdo it with inside jokes or embarrassing stories. Your guests are there to witness your marriage and want to celebrate with you, not feel like they’ve been given emotional whiplash with a mix of belly laughs and sentimental tears. It’s also a good idea not to use too many words, as you don’t want your vows to be too long and take away from the moment. Your unique vows should be short enough to memorize, but still ring true to your feelings and how you’d speak them in real life. It’s also a good idea that you both read the vows aloud before your ceremony to be sure they’re accurate and a good fit for how you’d like to say them.