When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few different things you should keep in mind. You will want to ensure you address guests properly based on their preferred title and the formality of your event.
Spell out all names and addresses on the outer envelope. Also be sure to spell out state and city names.
Married Couples
When inviting married couples to your wedding, always include their spouse’s name and his or her title followed by the last name. The order of the names in this instance should be based on their rank, with the higher ranked partner going first. If you are not sure of a guest’s rank, ask them or look it up online. You may have to split the couple’s titles and names on two lines, but make sure they are all clearly written out and indented properly.
Traditionally, women who have not yet taken their husband’s last name are addressed using the title “Miss” or “Mrs.” after their names. If a woman is widowed it is appropriate to use her maiden name or her married name depending on her preference. For divorced women, it is best to use the title that she chooses to go by at home (Mrs. or Ms.).
Married couples with children are typically invited as a family. If you are not extending your invitation to the children, it is still important to note this on the outside and inner envelopes so guests do not receive double invitations. If you are not extending your invite to the grandchildren, you can list them on the inner envelopes as individuals by their first names.
If you are extending your invite to a same-sex couple, it is best to write each formal title and name on a separate line. Generally, the man’s name should be listed first and the woman’s second, but this is not a hard rule. If you are having a very casual wedding, it may be okay to skip the titles altogether and simply list the first names.
When you are addressing your wedding invitations to military personnel, it is important that you are aware of the rank and rank structure so that you are not using an incorrect title or spelling. If you are not sure of a military rank, do an online search or ask the person to find out so that you can be accurate. Using an incorrect rank or spelling can be embarrassing to the military guest, so it is important to double-check the information before addressing your invitations.
Single Individuals
Whether your wedding is formal or casual, it’s always best to use proper formatting in your invitations. This ensures your guests receive a well-written, easy-to-read invitation. It’s also a great way to show your guests you care!
If you’re inviting single individuals, the first rule is to write their full name, in lowercase. This includes their middle names if they have them. If you know a guest has a nickname, avoid using it unless it is their legal name (for example, your Uncle Steve might be more comfortable being called “Steve”). In addition to the individual’s first and last name, write out their title in all caps. This includes military titles, ambassador titles, doctorates, and more.
The next rule is to list the person’s relationship status on their invite. Generally, this will be a spouse or a significant other, but it may include children as well. If you are uncertain about the status, you can write “and guest” or “& partner.”
Finally, if a guest will bring a plus one, it’s important to write their name and their relationship status on the inner envelope of their invitation. This will help prevent any confusion for your guests about who they will be attending with.
In general, it’s a good idea to write out all states, towns, and streets, and avoid abbreviations in the address. You should also keep in mind that your guests might not live within the boundaries of the town or state you’re writing to them in. It’s also important to spell out all titles, no matter what the status or gender is.
For married couples, it’s a good idea to start with their full, formal name. Then, write their first names (or if they have both, their first and middle names) in alphabetical order. You can then follow that with their occupations or honorifics, if you wish. However, if they are close friends and you don’t want to include any sort of titles, you can leave those off altogether. It’s also a good idea to write the date of the wedding on the bottom right hand corner of your outer envelope. This will help your guests to know when to mark their calendars.
Military Personnel
If you’ve invited any military personnel to your wedding (either as guests or as part of the wedding party), it’s important to address their inner envelope and outer envelope correctly. The most traditional way to do this is by spelling out their special titles and ranking in full, like ‘Lieutenant First Class Newell’. However, you can also choose to go the more modern route and use just their first names. Just remember that the people you invite will have worked hard for their titles and should be treated with respect.
The same rules apply for married couples that share the same last name as well as single people with special titles or ranks. If they’re both listed in the same group, list the person with the highest title first. Otherwise, you can go with the person who you are closest to or even alphabetical order.
Lastly, if you are inviting parents to your wedding and they both have special titles or rank, be sure to include their rank in the middle of their formal names. Likewise, you should always spell out their branch of service, like ‘USAR’ or ‘USMC’. For noncommissioned officers or enlisted people, you should also include their rank, but keep it lowercase.
When addressing an invitation to a same-sex couple, you can go either the traditional route of listing them as Mr. and Mrs. or you can forego the titles and simply write them as ‘Daniel and Jacqueline Bekken’. It’s up to you and the type of ceremony you’re having to decide how formal you want your invitations to be.
When addressing an invitation to a gay couple, you can follow the same rules as any unmarried or married couples. They should be listed in alphabetical order and if they’re bringing children, they should be included after their parents. However, if the couple is not parents, they should be listed before the children. Children under the age of 18 should be included on their own separate invitations if you are only inviting them to your wedding as guests. Including them on the same invitation can seem confusing and awkward, so it’s usually best to invite them separately.
Children
Whether you’re hiring a calligrapher, bribing a best friend with good handwriting or putting your DIY stamp on it, an invitation is a beautiful thing that should be handled with care. But sometimes even the most well-meaning DIYers run into challenges when it comes to addressing wedding invitations. A smudge or a crease can make an invitation feel cheap and sloppy, which isn’t the look you want for something that will be passed around and opened multiple times. If you have the budget for it, Lau-Yu recommends having your envelopes professionally printed in typography or calligraphy by a stationery designer. It will make the overall effect more polished and show that you really care about your guests.
For married couples who are inviting children, the outer envelope should be addressed to both adults, and the inner envelope should list their names, with any titles (like “Dr.” or “Mrs.”). If there are only two kids, the older child’s name goes first, followed by the younger one. You can also choose to simply use “and children” instead of listing their names individually.
Single friends over the age of 18 should get their own invite, even if they live at home or as roommates with parents. This ensures that they are treated as an adult, rather than as a tagalong kid. You can also indicate that they are bringing a guest on the response/RSVP card, and it will be clear to them who their plus one is before they open the envelope.
In the case of married doctors, their titles should be listed first on the inner envelope (spelled out if necessary). If they are both referred to as “Mrs.” and “Dr.”, their titles should be written together and in alphabetical order. If one doctor’s degree outranks the other’s, then his title should be listed first. If neither of their titles outranks the other’s, then their names should be written in an alphabetical order by last name.